| wow. |
[Jan. 7th, 2008|04:11 pm] |
....I haven't written in this thing for so long. Over a year at least...but I guess the fact that I'm writing in it now stands for something. So much has changed. College...friends...boys. I guess things fall into place when you need them to. This is a test run...I have no clue who is still on live journal besides JP....so yeah..let me know if you're reading. =)
Love,
Julse |
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| sniffles.. |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|11:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
I'm getting sick I guess...I've been sneezing/coughing...my nose is running and my head aches. Today though was a great day. My boyfriend did the sweetest thing in the world...and I don't think I could ask for a better guy. He is honestly, without a doubt, one of the sweetest people I've ever met in my life. He's smart, funny, sincere, loyal, and beautiful inside and out. Not only do I love to be around him, but I love to be close to him...and our chemistry is so great. Who would've put us together? but who cares. We're together now, and I hope that's how it stays! If ya read this Sugar, thank you for being you..and for all that you do. Thank you for the package, the acrostics, and my tip. Thank you for making me smile, making me happy, and making me trust again. Thank you for being my rock. My sturdy ground.
I love you,
Julse
Also, thank you to my friends. The ones who are there for me through everything, those who love me...trust me...and those who I can also trust in return. I love yall, and with you guys...I need noone else's approval. Yall are the best...and my best friends. You know EXACTLY who ya are...:] |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|07:52 pm] |
this is one of my favorite poems by Pablo Neruda...
"If You Forget Me"
I want you to know one thing
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look at me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of the banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
on that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implaceable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine. |
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| the 19th one.. |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|02:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
Today has been fun...I went with my dad to soundshop in the mall and we got some cds. I got Better than Ezra's greatest hits, and Open Hand. My dad got 4 cds. Afterwards, we went and ate lunch w/ mom at Los Mex, it was yummy. Tonight Sugar and I are going to B-ham again. It's our One Month Anniversary..yay. :) He has something planned, but won't tell me what it is. You can so tell that we both love bigger places...because every weekend we jet off to b-ham. I feel happy there. :)
I hope everyone survived Friday the 13th. May love creep into your soul and never let you go...
<3 Julie |
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| so here's my answer to it all... |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|09:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
There's so many fucked up things in the world. Yet, I find that most of the time, we all spend our moments worried about something useless...and compared to worse situations, meaningless. However..there's so much beauty in the world, that at times, I feel goes unrecognized...like...
the moon hitting the tops of trees late at night, and casting a charcoal shadow on the ground..
or the stars sitting patiently in the evening sky...waiting for wishes...
the way people walk past and smile, without even knowing your name
the rain hitting pavement and blurring streetlights
and the fog settling over grass wet with dew
I refuse to go another day without appreciating these things. No immature beings could ruin this outlook. It's how I used to be...it's how I need to be...it's how I've always been...it's how I am. Period. As for the drama that goes on in all of our lives...well, it needs to happen sometimes. It wakes you up, and creates a stirring in your heart...you grieve, you learn, you get through it. There's always light at the end of the tunnel...and for me, that light was soooo bright...and I'm so grateful for it. :)
I love watching sunsets and eating cheddar popcorn. I love hanging w/ my friends and singing rap songs. I love driving on sunny days and dancing like a robot. I love being so close to you...and I love the way your skin feels against mine.
Let's all stand up, and let go of the fears. Let's recognize the true meaning of life, and let's eliminate the useless bullshit.
"nothing gold can stay, but nothing true can fade..."
<3 always,
Julse |
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| change is in the air.... |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|05:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
yay...I just got back from getting the bottom of my belly button pierced!!! I was out for a drive...and I just got in the mood...so I went and got it pierced. I like it, it's different..and cute. yay me!!
<3 Julse |
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| this is us... |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
We ride out listening to music from "1994"...waving at various people...eating tangerines...the warm air blowing our hair...not a care in the world...pull up at the store...grab a grape soda bag-a-chips..that's all we got...
no, but seriously, we got cheddar popcorn, porkskins, and other stuff. hahahaha. I love my friends!
The other day (saturday) was Rachel's little sister Leah's birthday party at the skating rink. Leslie and I go to give her the cards we got her, and end up skating. Well, I get a little too brave...and I'm like "les! hey les! watch my trick!" About that time I bust my ass, Leslie's busts hers too, and lots of 9 year olds zoom by us. We laughed on the floor for like 10 minutes. It was pretty funny. That night, Sugar, Les, Dukey, and I got to B-ham and watch "Hostel" at the Rave. Pretty crazy. That movie is..creepy. I liked it though...gorey. I was going to get my tattoo AGAIN, but..we ran out of time. I shall get one this saturday though, (we're supposed to be going to B-ham again.) I love going there...it's great...especially w/ Brandon...he's so much fun, and so smart. I love him lots!
Other than that, I got a lot to do..applications...as well as scholarship stuff. It's craaazy. Love to all, and happiness to all...
<3 Julse! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|01:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Dear Sugar,
"Feel my heart" lol.....
I love you,
Julse |
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| 2005 ending quickly before our eyes... |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|11:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ...and excited! yay! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ashlee Simpson...that L-O-V-E song that's so damn catchy! | ] |
Yellow. I can't believe this year is almost over!!! It's been a pretty good one, and it's taught me a lot..which is always great. I can only hope that 2006 will be as good. Last night, Rach, Les, K-la, and I went out together. It was a "girl's night out", but of course...guys were around..lol. We still had fun, we always do, (B.M.rocks!) :) Today I'm going to B-ham to hang out and go shop around w/ Splenda. If all goes as planned, he'll have nipple rings...and I'll have my tattoo!!!!! Very excited...I can't wait. Not telling you what I'm getting...just have to see. My friends know, and that's about it. My mom just said "suprise me." My dad, tried to talk me out of getting a tatoo altogether. But, I think what I'm getting is very reasonable in the sense that the older I get..the more it will apply. It's so weird that I'm old enough to just go and get a tattoo. They really shouldn't give me this much power...lol. I hope everyone has a fun and SAFE New Year's. Don't drive drunk...and don't get too drunk, lol.
I hope everyone has that perfect kiss at 12:00 as well... ;-)
<3 Always,
Julse |
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| Merry Christmas! |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|02:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | James Blunt-Beautiful | ] |
Awww, Christmas already! I really can't believe it. My Christmas was really fantastic, but the day isn't over yet...:) I've been dating a new guy who is really peaceful, and can hold a great conversation. He makes me laugh, and we clicked instantly. That's never happened to me before. I'm taking things very slow and enjoying the moments life hands me. Sometimes you can't expect everything to be planned and explained, so I'm not asking questions about why I feel the way I do, I just allow the happiness to sweep over me. Then, I smile. :) As for my friends, I love you all and I wish you all a very very very Merry Christmas. Thank you all for being there for me through anything and everything, and for being like family. We take our pains to heart, and we deal with life's dealings together. (B.M. forever) :) Everyone have great days!!!
<3,
Julie |
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| james dean was right... |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stevie Nicks | ] |
This weekend was...a bit crazy. I'm not sure what to really say about it all, but I know that at this point, all I can do is continue being me. I'm not out to prove anything, or get into drama that shouldn't exist, I'm just me. If people want to talk, let them. My friends are obviously very passionate about the situation, and they do love me a lot. I've removed myself from it all because drama isn't my thing, and the importance of all of this really isn't there for me. Like, at all. However, I can't control my friends. They did what they felt they had to. Right or wrong, we all see it different, and to be honest...I wish it would've never happened. But, yet again, I can't control my friends...and they have their reasons, which...is their business. In my eyes, it was over before it began. It's not worth all of this. But, hey, that's just me.
All of that aside, I did have a really fun weekend, and I got to play pool with two guys who were drunk which was hilarious. I didn't drink at all this weekend, which is good, because I ended up driving people home both nights, lol. I spent the night w/ Rachel Saturday night, and sunday we went to work. I had a lot of fun this weekend, and Chase and Mox really cracked me up friday night...like seriously. haha!
Well, that's all from me...:)
<3 always,
Julie
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL CHEEKS!!!!! I LOVE YOU! (pick a place to eat please!) |
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| days locked away |
[Nov. 20th, 2005|10:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | CCR | ] |
Last night I went to a play at JSU and it was soooo good. I really enjoyed it. I'd never really been to an actual play, so I was super excited...and it was awesome. I think we're going to make it a point to go to every play they have. It was called The Wedding, and I'm not sure if it will be performed anymore, but if it is...everyone should definitely go see it. School is very hectic, lots of french homework...and having to work on scrapbooks in English. Other than that, life is good. :) I'm excited about Thanksgiving, and Wednesday I'm going to get my hair cut/colored. Not sure how yet, but I'm ready for a little change with cold weather here and all! I guess that's about it, about to go to work...and hopefully will make gooood tips!
Happy Early Thanksgiving (in case I don't post until then)
<3 Julse |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|06:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
I breathe in every day, and then I breathe out. I see people everyday that make me happy, that are complete strangers. I was feeling down in the dumps until some guy in a red truck just barely waved at me going down the road. Maybe I knew him, but either way...it made me feel better.
I don't necessarily look for hope in the most expected places, because usually...it won't come from there. Or them, rather.
Michael came to eat at the Glass House today!!! I was so happy. Michael is one of my best guy friends ever, and I never see him because he lives in fruithurst and all. but, yeah...he came to eat today and I was so happy to see him because he has a sense of humor like mine. :)
The cute guy at Wal-Mart must've been off last night....bummer!
Rachel, Leslie, and I got majorly hit on by a drunk guy with one eye open when were eating last night. Sorda funny, yet awkward..lol. We were like..."yeeeah, sooooooooo....he's probably cute when both of his eyes are open and he's not so intoxicated that he falls down on people's tables." haha
Gotta go work on my scrapbook for school...yay.
!
<3 Julse |
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|
| hows it? |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|05:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ...and sniffley! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dance, dance!!!!!!! | ] |
So..here's what's new fellaz.
Cut my hair, about 2 inches off...it's nice.
I'm sick, I stayed out of school today..and layed on the couch...it's like an evil cold or something..gross.
I found a poem by Denise Levertov that says exactly how I feel..I need to post it.
Yearbooks finally came in, and besides a few mishaps I'm satisfied with them. I hope everyone else enjoys them as well!
Friday night, after the game we all went to eat at Los Mex (Rachel, Chase, Leslie, Kayla, Tyler, Shadom, and I) and Tyler told them it was my birthday..lol. I had to wear that big sombraro...(whoa, check the sp) but anyhow..it was fun. I must be the only person ever who celebrates their birthday for a week!! haha.
I'm out,
<3 Julse |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
Birthday went well...I have the bestest friends in the whole wide world!!! They baked me a cake, decorated my car, and made me this really pretty purple suede picture bulletin board w/ ribbons and stuff. It's beautiful, and it felt so cool to sit down at lunch and eat birthday cake. Megan was a sweetheart too! She gives like the coolest gifts, and Michael as well...I'm so grateful for my friends, and it makes me really sad to think of having to graduate and lose touch with them. I'm not one of these people who sugar coats stuff and says "oh we'll call each other and meet up..." I know it might not happen, and probably won't. I will however try my hardest to stay in touch, but I always try to just plan for the inevitable...and then if it doesn't happen, I celebrate. :) So..here's onto another subject...
He gave me a 200 dollar purse for my birthday. I was very happy, but at the same time...I knew bad things would come of this. We've been rocky for a long time, really rocky. I'm so sick and exhaused emotionally and physically, but for some reason I just keep thinking it will get better. I must let it go. We both know it's not working, and I'm not going to pretend. I know I look like a bitch, because it's like "aww, he spent all that money on you and now you and him are breaking up..blah blah blah" but, I've always said that money doesn't mean anything to me, so aren't I doing the right thing and listening to what really matters inside of me?
It's going to take dating a guy who makes me really happy to get over him...but hey, I've been through worse. :) Oh, and by the way...no Munford guys. nope. the whole school/love thing doesn't work for me. I thought it would, but it doesn't. I hate being so...emotionally strained!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be single and be happy.
To my friends, who I love very much, thanks for making my birthday the best yet. I love you all!
<3 Julse |
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| It's my Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! almost... |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|10:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cross Canadian Ragweed | ] |
Well, tomorrow is my birthday...18th BIRTHDAY to be exact. I'm totally excited, because I feel...like I'm free. I feel happy. :) Just being able to say I'm 18 will feel good. I'm not sure what all I'm doing tomorrow night, but I know that my mom is baking me a cake, and my sister and matt are coming over to sing happy b-day laddy doddy dah....and then..who knows. Shadom's taking me to eat I think, and I hope that goes well. I refuse to be even the tiniest bit unhappy on my birthday. Riiiight? Well, I'm off to go to sleep...
Last journal entry of my 17 year old life....
:(....
:)
<3 Julse |
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| never coming home.... |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|10:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
I'm what you would call tired...no...exhausted. Yet, I'm not in bed, I'm online?...doesn't make sense. I made all As and 2 Bs on my report card, pretty good...but I might have done better if I weren't stressed all the time. This week has been a down pour of bad timing, loneliness, and hesitation. I feel like I let people down a lot, and I hate that. People keep thinking that Shadom and I will get back together, and be the happy little couple again...but...I don't think so anymore. We're friends, which is good...because well, he's a good friend to me. Single isn't bad. Single is uplifting, single is freedom, single is...sometimes lonely...but good for independance. Saturday I'm going to my sister's fall festival at her church, and tomorrow I work. Soon, I shall be the old me again, and I'll be happy...and hopeful. Which, I am now...it's just hard to show it.
<3 Julse |
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| whoa nelson....... |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|11:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blackeyedpeas | ] |
Why do you have to be competitive? Why do you have to be so angry? It's not my fault you have a hard time being you, in fact, if I were you...I might be bitter too.
Why people like you have to be so damn dramatic, I'll never know.
and no...it's not who you think it is...
I just wish we could all love and be loved. crazy wish though right?
blah! :) I'm actually happy, but you can't really tell it by this post. They'll get better...for those loyal readers, lol. O'Doyle rules! hehe.
<3 Julse |
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| rivers do run backwards... |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|10:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
Thanks so much for the comments (Tayler, Chris, Amanda, Jip, Jessica) they made me feel so much better, and a lot less.....blue. I took the advice to heart, and I appreciate it. :) And thanks Jip for my new icon, my other one was tow up from the flo up, hehe. You rule.
<3 yas,
julie |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|07:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Norah Jones | ] |
bleh blah bleh blah bleh blah bleh blah.
Don't ask me about it, because I don't really wanna talk about it...but...I do...but...I don't..=/
Perhaps being single is exactly what I need. I look back and I have been like..dating someone constantly. I haven't just been..single. What would make this so much easier is if he didn't go to my school, but no...I broke my own damn rule, and this is what I get for it. I'm not exactly sure where it will go from here, but I do know that this is the last year I'll be in highschool, and beyond this lies some awesome experiences that I can't wait to get to, and I hope I live them out to the fullest. Automatically when I say this though, he takes it as..."yeah, finding new guys to screw..huh huh" um, no. Anyone who has ever halfway sorda known me...knows...I'm not like that, and furthermore it's my fault for dating someone who doesn't really understand me. I've been totally miserable lately, I'm not scared to admit it. However, I know how guys are, and I know that no matter how hurt...or even tiny bit sad they are...most of them act as though they're totally fine and totally unmoved by the situation. Right now, my heart is slipping..slipping...and I'm sad, and tomorrow will get easier...and the next day, easier, until I can get back to my old routine and happiness. If it was really meant to be to begin with, he might have been nicer to me. Perhaps I would've made more of an effort as well, but him starting a relationship off with a lie isn't exactly the best way to kick it off, so yeah..that's where my whole forgive and forget thing comes into play. I should've forgave, but..umm...not forgot. ((obviously I haven't)) I know it sounds whiney and uninteresting, but I'm sick of the immaturity going on right now. I'm sick of trying to bring up something and being attacked with the same thing. I get to the point where I curl up into a shell and get pissed off at everything. I do know enough to realize that I don't deserve this, and instead of gonig off and drinking this weekend...I hung out with my mom. I should've seen how he was, and how we would turn out when things got really rough.
Please don't comment and say "awwwww" because I'm soooooooo not even in the mood to hear disappointment. Give me some good inspiration for moving on. :) Thanks.
<3 Julse |
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